So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
