if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
