guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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