How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My ATM looks so different sober.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
