I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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