What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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