these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
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I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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