WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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