Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
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The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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