I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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