if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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