I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
