Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she smelled like a LAN party
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
