Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You are a genius and a whore.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
