I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
how do flat chested girls get laid?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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