matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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