She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize