My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize