it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize