When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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