i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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