Got a toothbrush?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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