So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
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She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
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Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.