some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.