Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
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Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
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And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out