I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
What a dumb baby whore.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
