4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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