nut hugger
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
