i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
