a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
