when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
