I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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