I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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