Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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