At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize