Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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