You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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