Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the day after is always just damage control
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
