my mouth tastes like poor choices
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
