Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Randomize
