Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
