I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Alive.
So much puke
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
