I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
