Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
