Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You smell like stripper and shame
stop calling my apartment porn island.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
