You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
