is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
