I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
