"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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