Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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