Sponge bath it is.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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