Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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