Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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