How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize