The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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