he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
