I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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