Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
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We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
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Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked