I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
