I love black thongs
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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