I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
