Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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