we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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