i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
