That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
