Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize